Okay, back up a minute. You want to buy a new necklace for your wife at that great dot com you recently found. They require you to fill out a form first - your name, address, phone number and credit card information. They also want your email address, gender and income range.

So you know these people? Think about it for a minute. How many of your friends (even your best ones) have you told your true age or how much money you make. Have you divulged your credit card data to your co-workers at work? Perhaps you give your social security number to the kid at the McDonalds?

I didn’t think so. Then why do you insist on giving this data to a faceless computer? You don’t have any idea who is on the other side of the screen - yet every day you give away information that you would never dream of telling your parents or best friends.

Before typing in the information look around the site until you find a link named “privacy”. Usually it is on the bottom of the home page (at least), and good sites will have a link to it from EVERY page. Click on the link and read the policy from start to finish. Make sure you understand it - if there are any words you do not understand pull out your handy dictionary and check them out. Once you are done, read it again. Slowly.

What’s so important about this that it requires all this work? Look, you are giving out personal data about yourself. The web site owners have an obligation to inform you how this data is going to be used.

Questions that should be answered by any decent privacy policy include:

How do you get in contact with the owners of the company?

How do you erase your private data or remove yourself from mailing lists?

Are they going to keep your information to themselves or sell it to third parties? If so, can you stop this and how?

What are they going to do with your credit card data? How do they keep it safe?

Why do they need the information? For example, our site asks each person who signs up for an award their age. Why? Because the COPPA law does not allow us to collect information from people under 13 years old. How else are you going to ensure you are in compliance with this kind of law except to ask?

It’s very important to totally understand what they plan to do with your email address … you don’t want to get spam, after all. How do they use cookies?

Do they make use of your TCP/IP address and other similar information, and if so what is it used for? Virtually every site logs this data, but rarely is it used for anything except mass statistics and error checking.

If the site has third party advertisers, banners, web bugs, banners and so on, what similar information is available for how they use any information? This is most pertinent for cookies and TCP/IP data that is automatically logged. At the very least, their should be links to third party sites so you can look at their privacy policies also.

Are there any special relationships such as partners who use the information also? If so, how is that information shared and used? If the web site asks for information, how do they ensure that COPPA (a law which attempts to ensure that information is not gathered from minors without their parents permission) is adhered to.

Under what conditions will you receive mailings and how do you opt- in and out of them.

Once you fully understand a privacy policy you can make an intelligent decision as to whether or not you want to give these people your information.

I know it seems like a lot of work, but remember you don’t know who these people are and you don’t know what they will do with your information. If you read the privacy policy, you can at least understand what they will do with it.

But if you really want premium public relations results, you must use a broader, more comprehensive and workable public relations blueprint to alter your key, external audience perceptions – perceptions that lead to the changed behaviors you’ll need to reach your managerial goals.

In short, you had best take steps to persuade those key external stakeholders with the greatest impacts on your organization to your way of thinking, then move them to take actions that help your department, division or subsidiary succeed.

The PR blueprint is the best place to start: people act on their own perception of the facts before them, which leads to predictable behaviors about which something can be done. When we create, change or reinforce that opinion by reaching, persuading and moving-to-desired-action the very people whose behaviors affect the organization the most, the public relations mission is accomplished.

Publicity tactics, of course, have their role in the blueprint, but they are not the be-all or end-all of the public relations plan, nor should they be.

Savor for a moment premium results like those mentioned above. Prospects starting to do business with you, and customers starting to make repeat purchases; fresh proposals for strategic alliances and joint ventures; welcome bounces in show room visits; rising membership applications, and community leaders beginning to seek you out; new approaches by capital givers and specifying sources, not to mention politicians and legislators viewing you as a key member of the business, non-profit or association communities

But who will do the work such results demand? People assigned by the corporate office to your unit? Possibly your full-time public relations staff? Or even an outside PR agency team? No matter who they are, they must be committed to you, to the PR blueprint and to its implementation, starting with key audience perception monitoring.

Sad to say, simply because someone describes him/herself as a public relations person doesn’t mean they’ve accepted PR as you understand it. So by all means make certain the public relations people assigned to your unit honestly believe why it’s SO important to know how your most important outside audiences perceive your operations, products or services. Make sure they accept the reality that perceptions almost always lead to behaviors that can help or hurt your unit.

Sharpen your plan – your blueprint — for monitoring and gathering perceptions by questioning members of your most important outside audiences. Questions like these: how much do you know about us? Have you met our chief executive or other senior managers? Have you had other contacts with our staff and were you pleased with the interchange? How much do you know about our services or products and employees? Have you experienced problems with our people or procedures?

Use professional survey firms in the perception monitoring phases of your program if you can afford them. But your PR people are also in the perception and behavior business and can pursue the same objective: identify untruths, false assumptions, unfounded rumors, inaccuracies, misconceptions and any other negative perception that might translate into hurtful behaviors.

Here, it’s time to establish your PR goal, one that aims to do something about the worst distortions you turned up during your key audience perception monitoring. It could be to straighten out that dangerous misconception, correct that gross inaccuracy, or stop that potentially fatal rumor dead in its tracks.

Now, with the PR goal established, select the right strategy, one that tells you how to proceed. But keep in mind that there are only three strategic options available to you when it comes to handling a perception and opinion challenge. Change existing perception, create perception where there may be none, or reinforce it. Since the wrong strategy pick will taste like onion gravy on your raspberries, be certain the new strategy fits comfortably with your new public relations goal. You don’t want to select “change” when the facts dictate a “reinforce” strategy.

With that homework complete, prepare a clear message and aim it at members of your target audience. Because crafting action-forcing language to persuade an audience to your way of thinking is hard work, you need your best writer because s/he must create some very special, corrective language. Words that are not only compelling, persuasive and believable, but clear and factual if they are to correct something and shift perception/opinion towards your point of view leading to the behaviors you are targeting.

Run it by your PR team for impact and persuasiveness. Then, select the communications tactics most likely to carry your message to the attention of your target audience. You can pick from dozens that are available. From speeches, facility tours, emails and brochures to consumer briefings, media interviews, newsletters, personal meetings and many others. But be sure that the tactics you pick are known to reach folks just like your audience members.

Rather than using higher-profile news releases, since a message is often dependent for its credibility on the means used to deliver it, you may decide to unveil it before smaller meetings and presentations When questions about progress are heard, you and your PR team should get busy on a second perception monitoring session with members of your external audience. And remember to use many of the same questions used in the first benchmark session. Difference this time is that you will be alert for signs that the bad news perception is being altered in your direction.

If momentum flags, you can always accelerate matters by adding more communications tactics and increase their frequencies.

When all is said and done, you want your new PR blueprint to persuade your most important outside stakeholders to your way of thinking, then move them to behave in a way that leads to the success of your department, division or subsidiary. Period.

And, when you think about it, we are fortunate indeed that our key stakeholder audiences behave like everyone else – they act upon their perceptions of the facts they hear about you and your operation. Leaving you little choice but to deal promptly and effectively with those perceptions by doing what is necessary to reach and move your key external audiences to actions you desire.

A great way to do PR.

end

To enable Brainstorming to be effective, there are certain rules to follow. One of the most important is that no one should make any judgment about anyone’s ideas. There should be a FREE-FLOW of ideas (that’s why Brainstorm is put under the WATER Element category!) and everyone’s ideas are to be respected and taken into account.

Let’s go through the steps of setting up an effective Brainstorming session:

1. Get into small groups of less than six (it was found to be more effective) and select a leader and a recorder (they may be the same person).

2. The leader must explain the focus topic and goals of the Brainstorming session. In short, he/she must make sure that everyone is clear on the topic being explored.

3. The leader should spell out the rules of an effective Brainstorming session. These will include:

There are no WRONG ideas!

Everyone plays a part to contribute.

No laughing and poking fun at people’s ideas. No CRITICISM!

Do not discuss or argue about the ideas given.

The person in charge must record all ideas without any biasness.

4. It is also important to set a realistic time limit. This is to prevent wastage of precious time and the group members tend to be more motivated to give their best, without delays.

5. Start the brainstorming.

6. Usually, anyone can contribute their ideas at any time, without any restrictions. But, there are groups that use a small game to enhance the effectiveness of their Brainstorming sessions. This includes getting the leader to start the Brainstorming session by throwing a tennis ball to another member for his turn to give an idea. And in turn, he/she will pass the ball to another member for his turn to give another idea.

Whatever it is, there are no real hard and fast rules about this. As long as ideas are continuously flowing from each member, the objective is met.

7. The recorder should write down all responses and enable the other members to see them. This help a lot in the brainstorming as sometimes, ideas of others can help spark more original ideas form the rest of the group.

8. Usually after the Brainstorming session, the group will need to go through the results and begin to evaluate the ideas given.

Certain questions to ponder upon include:

Are there ideas that are similar?

Can some of the ideas and concepts be grouped together for clarity?

Are there ideas that are really impossible to use at this point of time (maybe due to lack of resources or other reasons)?

Putting Your Elements to Work:

Here are some Brainstorming exercises for you and your group to practice:

1. Ideas to start a business with less than $100 in the bank.

2. Generate ideas to make an effective advertisement for a business.

3. To improve sales of a new product.

4. Generate ideas to get people to buy what I am selling (for example, Health Products) instead of flowers for Valentine’s Day.

5. To find ways to get rid of excess products (for example, food, flowers and others) that will be rotting in a week’s time.

Just a note for Solo Warriors:

Brainstorming is usually done in a group for obvious reasons. In any case, if you are ever caught alone with an IDEA FLOW blockage, you can still brainstorm alone by jotting down ideas on paper or laptop. The same rules apply and that is to jot ideas as they flow without considering whether they are good or bad. The evaluation of your responses can be done later after you feel that the flow of ideas is subsiding.

The Stone Soup Legend

There exists a tale, handed down from times long ago, of two travelers on a pilgrimage. Hungry and tired from a long day’s journey, they come to a small, impoverished, medieval village, where they decide to rest by the side of the road. One of the travelers builds a small fire, upon which he places a large pot, while the other, having drawn water from the town well, fills the pot and places into the vessel a simple stone. As the two men sit by the fire, bringing their “stone soup” to a boil, the local villagers become inquisitive of the curious antics of these strangers. Eventually, several townsfolk decide to investigate the matter and approach the two travelers to engage them in conversation.

Shortly thereafter, there is heard the sound of merriment, as the visitors, who turn out to be quite friendly, share their tales of the lands and people they have met throughout their journey and pilgrimage with the local villagers.

Finally, a young boy asks the travelers “But why, pray thee, are you boiling a stone?”

One of the pilgrims replies, “So we may eat stone soup.”

“It must be terribly bland!” says an old woman. “But I have a cabbage, which will add some flavor!”

“And I, some carrots, which will add color!” says another villager.

“Some potatoes!”, offers another, until, shortly, by the contribution of a little by many, a hearty stew was made, upon which the entire village and the weary pilgrims dined… and while doing so, shared their tales, talents, and camaraderie throughout the night.

The very next day, the travelers (who by now could be called “strangers” no more), continued their journey, leaving the little town, and its people, behind. But the villagers never forgot them, and the lesson they had learned. In fact, during the hardest of times, in such a time as this tale, that little village thrived, because the townsfolk never forgot how to make “stone soup”.

For tropical flavourings, sample fruity liqueurs such as a yellow banana, bright green melon, orange coloured passion fruit, or, if iced coffee is more your cup, try Irish cream drizzled over shaved ice. Colourful sodas such as grape, lemon-lime, cream soda, orange, etc. are great nonalcoholic choices. For vitamin packed alternatives, flavourings such as frozen unsweetened fruit juice, fruit or yogurt provide a nutritious base for tropical drinks, sorbets, or snow cones. Many cultures for centuries have enjoyed snow treats. Generally sweet, snow treats can alternatively be seasoned with chopped herbs, nuts and spices for a nice accompaniment to an entrée. Or, if you need to cleanse your palate between courses, a sorbet does the trick.

Overcome by the heat of summer, need something to quench your thirst, having a pool party or you simply crave a light tasting dessert, a snow treat is the answer. Simply place the electric ice shaver on the countertop; place a bowl, cup or other container onto base platform to hold shaved ice; place ice cubes/pucks into ice chamber; push the child-friendly oversized on/off button to start shaving process; scoop ice shavings into paper cups, glasses or bowls; pour flavourings on top of snow.

1. Choose the right “delegatee”

Review the task and determine what skills are required. Delegation goes much more smoothly if you match the person with the appropriate skill set to the task you have to assign. Now if you don’t have a candidate that has all the skills you are looking for, decide which is the most critical one (analytical ability, attention to detail, communications skills) and make that match.

One of the rewards of delegation is the opportunity to help someone develop and grow. It is unlikely that you will always have a candidate that you can hand off something to and not have to provide some training or coaching. But learning to empower your employees will reap big rewards as their confidence grows with their abilities, and delegation becomes easier and easier, and your “Stop Doing” list gets longer and longer.

2. State your expectations clearly

When you assign a task, be very clear about the deliverables you expect, and qualify your expectations as much as possible. As a minimum, you need to communicate the “what” and the “when”. For example: “I want these invoices entered into my database by 5pm tomorrow”. Then, start adding qualifications to your request, such as: “Please make sure that the expense categories are correct, and if you are unsure, ask me and I will clarify for you because I want the reports to be accurate.”

In addition to communicating about the “what” and “when” of an assignment, I recommend that you also include information on the “why”. For example: “I need the monthly recap report done by 5pm tomorrow because I have a meeting with client X the following morning and need the information, so it is really critical that I have it.” Often, we assume that others should know what we expect. But if you have a new working relationship with someone, that is probably an unfair expectation. So, take a few minutes to think about what you need to communicate to save both of you a lot of aggravation, and possibly rework.

3. Choose an appropriate oversight level

No one wants to work for a micro-manager, but some managers are too hands-off when it is inappropriate. Note the skills and experience level of your employee and adjust your oversight level accordingly. The first couple of times they handle a complicated task, you may want to check in more frequently. After a few months, you could probably ease off on your involvement as their knowledge and confidence increases.

4. Provide feedback effectively and often

Once in a while, we get really lucky and have someone supporting us who does things perfectly the first time. But that scenario doesn’t happen too often. However, we can get the employee to the perfection level by providing appropriate feedback. Tell them very specifically what they did well (“Your accuracy is great. I rarely, if ever, find a mistake in your work. Keep it up.”), and what they need to improve on (“I really needed the monthly recap report for Company X done yesterday. I had a meeting with them this morning, and was not able to provide them with the latest information. That reflects poorly on my service. I need you to let me know when you cannot meet a deadline I have given you. Will you do that?”)

Specific, constructive feedback is the most effective way to improve performance. Even if you have a “star” employee, you still need to provide the feedback so that they will maintain their high level of performance. Work on giving more positive feedback. If the only time you provide feedback is when you are unhappy, your employees are not going to be very eager to talk with you.

Follow these simple steps and dive right into delegation. As you become more successful in delegating, you will feel more confident in adding to your “Stop Doing” list. Then use your time on something much more impactful for your business, or much more pleasurable for you.

1. Carefully examine what factors you are using to set project deadlines. Then set realistic deadlines. Start with the most important things first and rearrange projects that are within your control. Then set acceptable time limits for completion.

2. Be on the lookout for time sinkholes. Those little pesky tasks that steal valuable time from your day but that don’t really help you get much accomplished. Look at the activities you routinely perform each day and see which ones you can skip or limit to once or twice a week.

3. Get regular exercise at work- every day. Daily exercise even in short intervals can keep you alert, productive, and healthy. This regular exercise greatly contributes to mental and emotional fitness. Do stretches, biceps curls, and squats for 2 minutes 3 or 4 times each day.

4. Take control of your time, don’t let other people waste it. If someone calls or stops by to chat and you’re pressed for time, be polite, keep it short and schedule some time to get together outside of the office. Keep track of unnecessary or unproductive meetings. These can really waste time and sap your energy. Who ever is running the meeting should have an agenda they can stick to, helping the meeting be productive and concise.

5. Do you have the same deadline crunch every Friday or at the end of each month? Reexamine your work habits and identify all of the areas that are causing you to waste time or procrastinate. Start with a strategy of doing the most important things first and stick to the list. Keep yourself focused on these time management strategies and they will become a good habit, improving the quality of your work and giving you more time.

My experience is first hand. I dated many Asian ladies and have heard the comments. If we frequent a typical American club, I have had my dates threaten by American women in the restroom. In time, Asian clubs sprung up in the United States. At an Asian club, American women are welcome. I have never seen an American lady being threaten by Asians in a typical Asian club. It just isn’t their nature. The crowd in these clubs are usually Asian ladies and American men.

There are many Asian ladies in the U.S., especially from the Philippines. A lot of these ladies arrived via meeting an American G.I. I really don’t know the percentage, but there is no doubt that most Filipina ladies have a military connection in some way. They met in the Philippines, got married, and came to the United States with their military husband. Consequently, you’ll meet Asian ladies in clubs who are married. If you mingle with Asian ladies that frequent the clubs for any length of time, you will eventually meet ladies who are unfaithful. This unfaithfulness is how Filipina ladies are branded as whores by American women. This doesn’t carry the same stigma for American women who may do the same. Hypocrisy is always evident when behaviors of the two cultures are compared.

What the American GI has discovered is now catching on with non-military men. Asian dating sites have sprung up all over the internet. Some of these sites try to exploit the Asians’ sexuality. However, there are many Asian ladies who want to meet a sincere gentlemen for a relationship. As attractive as Asian ladies may be, American men are also captivated by the Asians’ behavior towards men. A man’s dream of having a wife who wants to please him, appreciates his love and treasures his efforts in making a home seems to have been found by American men in the Asian culture. You’ll hear American men call these values “traditional values” because at one time these were the values that held the American family together.

The tired argument about these women being a servant to their husband, is one sided. Do these women like serving their husband? Yes, most do. But not as slaves. They are not forced to do so, but have the desire to please their man out of appreciation and love. These ladies are doing what they want to do. I repeat, they WANT to please their man, do things for him and show their appreciation. In turn, these men are happy, want to provide for their wife and have no desire to look elsewhere for this appreciation. It’s chemistry that once prevailed many years ago in the United States and has been lost in the myriad of women rights in American society.

Why do Filipina women want to marry a foreigner from another country? I’m not going to argue the fact that these ladies want a better life. It’s probably true. I will argue that most women, no matter the country, want to marry in to a better life. Again, it is the hypocrisy of who you are that makes a behavior negative or not. Most women, in the United States, need to look in a mirror before judging ladies from other cultures. Besides wanting a better life, most Asian ladies want better treatment. In a Filipina lady’s eyes, men from the West treat women better then men from their country. Is there truth to this? The feed back I get from the ladies at my website is yes or at least they perceive it to be so. I’m sure the social status of your family makes a difference of how you are treated regardless of your gender, but I’m talking about the average Filipina lady. The difference is simple. In her country what she does for her man or husband is expected without appreciation. Here in the United States, most men come to expect a lady isn’t required to serve him, to want to please him, and love him for who he is. When an Asian lady does, his appreciation is certain. For an Asian lady, the man doesn’t have to be super rich or look like a movie star, just treat her well and show his love. It’s a merry-go-round with respect and love as it’s focal point. She wants to please him, he loves her for pleasing him, she loves him for showing he appreciates her love and so on.

All the above words, statements and my observations have their exceptions. There is no doubt, there are bad men in every country. There is no doubt that some women only are in it for the money or to get a free pass to the United States. These are the exceptions and it is this minority that the media and others will use to blanket a whole culture in a negative light. I’m sure most of you have seen in print or on the news about “mail order bride” scandals or “mail order bride” mistreatment as if this defines all courtships and marriages that develop through the internet. If a few instances defines the standards, then just getting a marriage license in the United States should have a warning imprinted in gold. No matter if a couple met through the internet or at the neighborhood church, you have your share of scandals and mistreatment. The last culture of experts that needs to be giving advise about how to meet and marry a women is the United States – is there any other country whose divorce rate is higher?

The Philippines does not condone online dating sites. For that matter, it is against the law. I’m not going to quote their law here, but it has to do with moral issues. Again hypocrisy!. If the Philippines are so worried about women rights, there are other issues they could concentrate on besides taking away a women’s right to find happiness, love and a better life for herself. She wouldn’t be looking elsewhere, if the Philippine government took care of her needs. Should I complain? Probably not, or most Filipina women would not be joining online dating sites to meet American men. My objection to this law is how it is used in the Philippines as a political vehicle rather then sincere concern for women’s rights. Hypocrisy, it is everywhere, isn’t it?

I started this article to comment on why a lot of American women despise Asian women. Not all American women, but a lot. But the discrimination doesn’t stop there. It is evident in the media, politics and indeed in their own country. The people who are forgotten, are the couples themselves. Why not just ask them? If two people who found each other are happy, in love and want to be together, why does the media and politician think they know better. More then likely, it isn’t about what the couple want, but more about politics and sensationalism to sell news. Take your hatred, your narrow minded views and negative publicity elsewhere and let us find love even if we find it on the internet.

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It never crossed my mind that there could be such a thing as a redneck workaholic, until I read a column on “Are you a workaholic?”

“Did you read this?” I asked my wife. “Are you a workaholic? It looks just like those you-might-be-a-redneck jokes.”

My wife studied the page. “Maybe it was written by a redneck alcoholic.” She suggested.

“Workaholic, not alcoholic.”

“How do you know the writer is not an alcoholic?” she demanded.

“I don’t. But the column is about workaholics, and it reads just like a series of redneck jokes.”

“Well, maybe it was written by a redneck workaholic, then.” She suggested.

“No way. There is no such a thing.”

“Why not?” she wanted to know.

“Because workaholics sit late in front of computer screens and steroid-laced in-boxes, wearing $500 suits and $550 haircuts. Folks out here wear $19.95 jeans and occasionally wash their hair.”

“But many of them do spend late hours in front of their computers,” my wife pointed out.

“Like who?”

“Like you.”

“Oh, yeah…”

“Being a workaholic is not just about computers and offices and taking out a mortgage for a haircut,” she added. “Look at Buster.”

“Buster?”

“Sure, every time he’s set to retire, he goes and buys another machine,” she pointed out. “One year it was a backhoe. Another it was a dump truck.”

“Wow, he must be desperate this year.”

“Why?” my wife asked.

“Because this year he bought a whole combine…”

“Ooh, that does sound desperate.”

“…plus a farm to use it on!”

“See?” my wife smiled. “You don’t have to live in the city to be a workaholic. There can be such a thing as a workaholic redneck.

“That’s a pity. Being a workaholic means missing out on a lot of life.”

“That’s true, but it’s not just city folk who miss their kids growing up or are too busy working to help their wives clean the dishes.”

I took the hint and picked up a drying cloth. “You mean that anyone can get caught up in work, and lose sight of what’s really important? Even farmers, moat diggers and the guy who sorts through the trash at the dump looking for the tastiest morsels to throw to the gulls?”

“I suppose so,” she answered with that what-have-you-been-smoking look on her face. “Why not try to see if workaholic redneck jokes work?”

“Well, if you look forward to Christmas this year, because you might take the afternoon off from tilling the land, you might be a workaholic redneck.”

“That’s the spirit,” she encouraged.

I tried another, “If you’re drinking your morning coffee from a dirty mason jar from yesterday, you might be a workaholic redneck.”

“Very good,” she praised.

“If you stick family pictures to your backhoe window to remind you what they look like, you might be a workaholic redneck.”

“Why not try one more, just to make sure?” my wife suggested.

“OK, if you bring your work with you to your son’s baseball game, you might be a workaholic redneck.”

“Uh, OK…” she began.

“And if nobody complains about the smell, you might live in a town full of workaholic rednecks!”

“You got it!” she shouted.

I realized that I had spent way too much time talking about workaholic redneck jokes. There was only one thing I could do to compensate.

I tossed aside the drying cloth, grabbed my lap-top computer and rushed to the outhouse to catch up on a few hundred urgent emails.